Need a daily and weekly schedule...BAD!!!

by Julie
(Bloomington, MN)

Just can't seem to get it together. Right now I'm going to school- 2 classes and 2 labs with a 14-month old who is now walking and still nursing and we have NO DAYCARE nor a reliable support system. That is supposed to be changing soon but in the meantime I am really sleep-deprived, my health is failing and I'm desperate to get us on a better schedule. I keep defaulting to a 2am bedtime because it's late at night when I seem to be the most mentally alert. My baby falls asleep around midnight. This is so not good for us and yet I sleep through the 4 alarms I set each day and then we wake up at the same time. I have no time to myself. I constantly lose track of time and we are late everywhere. And not just a few minutes late, we are often even hours later than I try to plan. We have food allergies so I have to make all our food- no dairy/no wheat. No dishwasher. I'm too impatient with my daughter and too exhausted to enjoy her. That makes me feel really sad and guilty. Everything is falling apart. I need help.

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Feb 06, 2011
Help for a Tired Mom That's a Student too!
by: Samantha

Hi Julie, My thoughts & prayers are w/you & especially your little girl. Your baby is only 14 months & you're breastfeeding which means your hormones still aren't balanced. I can tell you as a mom of 4 they won't be back in balance until you eat right and get rest. I can almost guarantee your adrenal gland is exhausted from trying to 'do it all'. Nothing feels right if these body systems are out of whack.

Talk to your OBGYN or baby's doctor about your concerns. They may recommend putting her on formula to ease your burden. Sounds like your baby has had 12 months of breastfeeding, what most pediatricians recommend.

I went back to school as a single mom when my 15 year old girl was not much older than yours. I had no choice to make a better life for us and I can tell you that I still feel guilty for missing out on those precious moments w/my girl.

Regardless, your baby didn't ask to be born; you brought her here and, as her mom, owe her as much of herself that you can give her. Children are so innocent, curious, and loving about the world around them, and they need their moms to nurture all of that to grow into a healthy happy adult. I truly believe a child that has a loving mom that is there for them, develops into a more secure self-assured individual. I see it in my own kids. I worked and went to school full time when my 15 year old was young and now I'm blessed to be a stay at home mom for my other three children. My three younger children seem to be more secure and have higher self-esteem than my 15 year old.

I know, I'm preaching, but I only want the best for your child and you. Can you at least stop school until she's two and a half? I know that's asking a lot, but 2 classes and 2 labs are really like 4 classes and you need to be a mom now. You're daughter will be two and a half before you know it and a lot of campuses have a child development center you could put her in for daycare while you go to school. You'll be close by and she'll get the socialization of being around other kids. The maturity difference between 14 months to two and a half is HUGE and I can't stress enough how having you as a loving mother there for her will help develop her sense of security.

Or, depending on your degree, you may be able to go through an accelerated program that typically meet once a week and you finish one class a month.

Lastly, you mentioned you're sleeping bad. Sounds like your body clock is off and can be simply adjusted by going to bed at a regular time and waking up at a regular time. It's amazing what a good eight hours of sleep can do to restore the body and mind quite literally. Hormones get balanced and neurotransmitters get back to optimum levels (moods lifted, no more feeling of being overwhelmed, etc.) I'm not a doctor, just a mom whose been there and done that and now raising healthy and happy kids. I wish you and your family the best. God bless, Samantha Buck.

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